Saturday, November 8, 2008

Shop-o-Rific

One of my favorite things about flying is the SkyMall catalog. I'm constantly delighted by the crazy things that people are selling, and I wonder who buys this stuff. So, because I seem to have lost the ability to actually blog, and NaBloPoMo is breathing down my neck, I'm going to give you some of my SkyMall favorites.

The Most Up to Date Talking Globe



Because you certainly wouldn't want the previous Behind the Times Talking Globe. For just $179.95 you can get "the world's most current talking globe because it connects to a PC and allows you to download weekly updates about nation states, governments, political boundaries, culture, and more." Because if a globe doesn't talk, what good is it? Seriously.

The Beverage Buggy


That's right my friends. Con your spouse, child, neighbor, sibling into placing two cans of thirst-quenching goodness into this remote-controlled buggy and zoom it right over. The important thing to note here, I think, is that if it's remote-controlled, then once it's out of the "driver's" sight, it's useless. So you have to be pretty freakin' lazy to force someone to use this. I mean, you can see where they're sending it from.

The Nano Wand Scanner



For the germophobes out there, just wave it over any area and it "kills 99.9% of bacteria in 10 seconds." Or you could use it to stage your own home episode of CSI.

Poop Freeze


I'm not sure I can say anything about this better than what they've already told us: "Poop Freeze is an easy, earth-friendly way to do your "dooty" and clean up after your dog. It chills animal waste to -62°F, creating an outer "crust" that enables you to quickly place in a bag and dispose. Makes picking up loose stool and diarrhea easier. Effective for all kinds of pets, including dogs, cats, birds, etc. Indoor or outdoor use. Safe for humans and pets when used as directed."
Key point here: You don't have to use the toilet anymore. You can just poop on the floor, freeze it, and clean it up later.

Brightfeet Lighted Slippers



"It's like having nightlights on your feet." And who doesn't want that? However: "Note: It may take 4 to 5 steps for the LEDs to activate the first time slippers are worn. Remember, Bright Feet Lighted Slippers light up only in the dark." So if you run into the door in your first 4 steps, don't blame SkyMall. And if you need the lights in the daytime, well, I don't know what to tell you.

Makes you want to take a trip, doesn't it?

3 comments:

Virgin In The Volcano said...

I so want Poop Freeze. My dogs may be in LA, but there's a lot of shit on the sidewalks of New England.

LL said...

The poop freeze is hysterical, though when I told JP what I was laughing about he immediately thought we needed it - apparently the hot weather here makes picking up the dog poop a difficult and smelly task. Not that I would know because JP always does that little chore :)

And the night light slippers- ha!

Merrily Down the Stream said...

I LOVE it when they talk about loose stools and diarrhea in advertising. It's right up there with gassy oily discharge! And I am ALL over those slippers - I'd be able to spot all of the places I need to sweep more often.

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