Gear ain't enough

The babe and I head to Vermont tomorrow for the long weekend. If you're acquainted with me or my blog, you know I adore Vermont and all of our friends there. I should be super excited that we're heading up there in about 24 hours, but for the last week, the excitement just hasn't been there.

Today I kept thinking what is going on here? I love it there. I love them all. Why am I feeling this resistance, hesitancy,...dread? Is there dread? What is that about?

Oh, I remember. It's about this. And this. And this.

You guessed it. We're going skiing again.

I've actually been really excited about it. I got ski gloves, goggles, and ski socks for Christmas. I borrowed bibs from a friend. I talked up my pizza slicing prowess.

But there's this gnawing feeling in my stomach, and this little voice in my head.
Remember when you went careening down the mountain screaming like a little girl? Can't wait to see that again. Mwahahahahaha.
It's actually sort of a big voice now.

It's not that I don't want to do it. I do. I want to do it enough so that I can really be good at it. I really do want to. It's just that right now, the desire is taking a backseat to the fear.