The Bright Side

It's important to have a positive attitude and be grateful for things. I've said it here myself. So, I've compiled a list of the ways in which being in law school has improved my life. Here goes:

1. I'm not as fun anymore.

Fun is overrated and often involves things that aren't good for you - like alcohol, sleepless nights, and laughter. We know what alcohol and lack of sleep can do. Too much laughing could cause you to pull something or shoot soda out of your nose, which could lead to sinus problems. Fun is dangerous.

2. I don't work out anymore.

Working out subjects your body to all sorts of stress. People who work out always have bad knees. And then if you end up looking fit, people hate you. Or expect you to help them carry things - like their new tv or their 2 ton sofabed. Not worth it.

3. I have no creativity.

It would be really depressing to have endless creativity and no where and no time to be able to use it. Better that it just gets zapped right away.

4. I am much more judgmental than I used to be.

This is important. How else can you be sure that you're right and everyone else is wrong if you're not constantly judging them?

5. I'm not very nice anymore.

It's important to get in touch with that part of yourself that hates other people who seem happy or put together. Otherwise, you might just be happy - and then other people would hate you. And who wants that?

6. I'm going to make a lot of money when I graduate.

Thank goodness, because I'll have shit tons of debt.

7. I don't hang out with my pre-law school friends much at all.

This is good because they wouldn't like me much anyway. See numbers 4 and 5.

8. I met a lot of good friends and the babe.

For serious. Thank god (or nature or science or whatever you might thank in this circumstance - see number 4 (which apparently translates into being a giant religion bigot)).