The best way to a dog's heart is through his stomach

We've been feeding Jammer by hand.  Our trainer recommended it to address the resource guarding problem, and I've seen it in some guidebooks as well.

I guess the theory is that he'll learn that we're the yummy food ladies we're in charge of when he gets to have things. He gets each piece of kibble when we hand it to him.

At first I thought it seemed really irritating and time-consuming, but it has become one of my favorite things to do with him.

Maybe it's the leo in me -  I love having his adoring little face look at me expectantly, waiting for that next piece of kibble.

Of course, in these pictures, I've caught him giving the same adoring looks he gives to me - but to the babe!

Traitor.

Sigh.  I just can't bring myself to hold it against him, though.

Fiduciary duty from beyond the grave

I just came across this sentence in the corporations outline that I'm using to create mine:

"The burden is on the corporation to prove the decision was made in good faith by disinterred people."

And here I thought they just had to be disinterested.
Corporations just got way more exciting.

Happy Things in the Midst of Finals

Our beautiful orchids (this picture doesn't do them justice). There are three blooming at the same time!

A yummy lunch - tuna sandwich, sugar snap peas, and kettlecorn popcorn. Mmm.mmm. good.

Hanging out (i.e. mutual studying) with the babe close by.

Reward for finishing mediation paper = 30 well-spent minutes at Carpe Librum, the annual mega used book sale.

And of course this guy.

P.S. If anyone can tell me how to post pictures in blogger without it sucking total ass and making you want to stab yourself, I'd appreciate it. Thanks. Okay, back to happy thoughts.

The light at the end of the longest tunnel ever - the one where you have to walk across broken glass the whole time

The law and literature papers are printed and stapled. They're not brilliant, but they also don't suck ass. Most importantly, they are now out of my control, which is - ironically - a wonderful feeling.

It's funny how you can work so hard* on a paper and by the time you turn it in, all you care about is whether it's the right number of words. What does it f-ing matter what it says? Or is that just me?

So now all that remains is the mediation paper, the corporations exam, and the pass-fail commercial paper exam. Seventeen days until freedom. And in three hours and fifteen minutes, I'll walk out of my last law school class ever - except of course for that thing called Bar Review, but let's not think about that. Let's focus: Last. Law. School. Class. Ever.

Yes Ma'am.

* By work so hard, I of course mean: begin writing the paper no more than one week before it's due and then work frantically on it while checking blogs, walking the dog, going to class, sleeping, having dinner with old friends, posting random pictures of your to-do lists, and watching the occasional episode of Jon Stewart.

Can you say high fructose corn syrup?

I had hoped to be in a better position going to bed this evening - with 2 first drafts done and not just one - but it's not to be. I'm halfway there on the 2nd one, so I'm not totally lost.

As my dear friend B reminded me, sometimes what you need in these difficult times is a high ponytail and some double bubble. Tomorrow, getting back to my college roots with Pril, I might also throw in some Doritos and peanut M&Ms. Not my normal snack foods, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. Trail mix just ain't gonna cut it. There's work to be done.

The Last Wind Up

Possibly the last to-do list of the semester.

After Wednesday (dear god, please) I should have done all of the things on this list - especially since two of them are due on Tuesday (although I'll likely still be working on my bar application), and all I will have left to do is study for two exams.* And one of them is pass/fail. And then I'll be done. FINISHED.

* Who knew studying for exams could feel like such a Not Big Thing? After writing these papers, it'll be a welcome diversion.

The New Life: I've got a piece of american cheese in my pocket

I pushed fairly hard for a dog, and I was super excited when we were heading down to get Jammer. Nervous, but excited. I knew that all of the struggles of having a new dog would completely fade away in the shadow of my love for him, my complete joy in having a darling puppy in my life. I imagined myself waking up every morning, gleefully hopping out of bed to run over to my puppy and shower him with kisses.

I was wrong. As much joy as Jammer has brought us, he's also brought a lot of stress and some fear and even some regret. That last has been the most painful.

Things like peeing in the house or not walking well on the leash - those things I can relax about. We'll get there. We'll figure that stuff out. But the resource guarding has been really, really hard for me. When I was explaining it to my mom she asked is resource guarding just a yuppie term for biting?

I explained that it's a dog trainer term and that it's sort of a sub-set of aggression. He's not a generally aggressive dog. He hasn't been aggressive with other dogs, and he's not aggressive with us generally. He just gets a little aggressive about his favorite toys and treats. Let's be clear - he hasn't bitten either of us. Or anyone else that we know of. But he makes aggressive moves. He'll get very still, put his paw on his toy and then look up at you like did you think you were going to take this away from me? If we have to, we coax him away with a little special treat. That's now after we've started working with a trainer. In the beginning, before we realized what was going on, he snapped at us a few times.

The first time he snapped at me, my feelings were hurt. I know - he's a dog. I'm not saying it's rational, but all I could think was we rescued you. we're feeding you and loving you, and you're going to try to bite me?! I realize now that it's a normal dog action (not an acceptable one, but a normal one), but somehow I can't help allowing it to affect my relationship with him. This little bit of fear and hurt and disappointment keeps seeping in.

Between that and the kleptomania (which leads to resource guarding) and the separation anxiety (if that's really what it is - there's some question about it), there have been moments where I have wondered if we made a bad choice - Is he not the right dog for us? And then I feel overcome with guilt - this is OUR dog! We love him! I think back to this Dog Whisperer episode that I saw where the woman's dog was aggressive with strangers and had even bitten HER MOM twice, and she was all I guess this is just the life I'm going to have to lead. I mean, that's devotion to your dog.

A moment of clarification again - Jammer is our dog. We love him. That's not going to change.

But this dog ownership business is filled with so many more emotions than I had anticipated. Perhaps that's affected by our close proximity to finals, and perhaps things will settle down a bit afterwards, and perhaps working with our trainer will solve all of these dilemmas. But whatever happens, the last month has definitely been an enormous learning experience - about the difference between expectations and reality and what it means to truly accept another being into your life, faults and all.

Weekend with (In)Sanity Gal

Emphasis on the (in). Things are not sane around here - mostly because I've been crazy this weekend and have not done nearly enough work. But more on that later.

I went to my first meetup group with a knitting/crocheting group in DC. Everyone there seemed to be way more advanced than me, but I had a nice time and really just enjoyed having made the space to do something creative. And here's the beginning of the lovely (hopefully!) bag that I'm making! I'm struggling a bit with the part where I join the different colors, but I figure I can do it this way on this bag and then try it another way the next time.

I headed to the local library and checked out almost every book they had on dog training. Of course, they've mostly been sitting on the table since then. We've scheduled an appointment with a trainer next week to help us with some of the more serious concerns (read separation anxiety and resource guarding). I'm glad to have the books but more excited to have a trainer coming - I'm a person who benefits from a little authority. I think I'll feel much better having someone come in tell us what to do.

And then at some point, I had the painful realization that I have two weeks to write three papers, totalling 45 pages. I have not a single page.

PS - As I was writing this post, the babe came up behind me and asked what I was doing - I pointed to the title of the post. She giggled and, waving her arms wildly in the air, squealed "I SPEND EVERY WEEKEND WITH (IN)SANITY GAL!" What a nut.

Misery LOVES company

A couple of days ago, I left a message for my friend C - who has a 2 year old and another on the way -, apologizing for not having called sooner and relating some of the basics of our first week of challenges with the dog, whining a little bit about how hard it was and about having to clean poop out of his crate.

The message she left back:

(Gleefully) HI! It's C - I was feeling so cranky until I got your message, but now I'm feeling so much better. You're a MOM now! You have to clean up poop, and you can't ever go out with your friends! And of course it's all worth it, but it kind of sucks at the same time! HA HA!

Nice to know I'm part of that club.

Even really dark clouds can still have silver linings

I graduate in 55 days, and I'm finished with finals two weeks before that. This law school adventure is almost over.*

This past Friday night was Barrister's Ball - law school prom, if you will. The babe and I have gone every year and always have a wonderful time. It's like going to a club all dressed up with all our friends. This year, a big group of us squished together to pose for a photo during pre-party festivities. As the little self-timer flash on the camera began to blink and we gleefully yelled at one friend to hurry into position, I thought about how incredibly grateful I am for the wonderful group of friends that I've made in law school. And all of my friends weren't even there.

I have done a lot of complaining while I've been on this journey. A. Lot. And I'm not saying now that all that complaining wasn't valid or that the feelings weren't real - they most definitely were. But as we get closer to graduation and to the start of a new journey which will carry many of my friends far away from me - to California and beyond, I find myself focusing more and more on this particular blessing of law school.

I've done a lot of work, and there have been some really crappy test-taking, paper-writing, forgot-how-much-reading-this-was days. But I've also gone to great dances, had wonderful potlucks, gone camping, played games, enjoyed dinner parties, laughed at lunch time, and spent weekends on vacation together with some of the most fun people I've ever known.

So, thank you, law school. (And enjoy it, because this might be the only time you'll ever hear it from me.)

* Don't speak to me of the bar.