Short

So it's short now - the hair, I mean.

The babe loves it, and there's been no complaining. In fact, it's been mostly talk of what an amazing neck I have.

Smart girl - using flattery to make sure I never grow it long again.

FemLaw

Last semester of law school.

I've got 5 professors, and only one of them is a man.

And I wasn't even trying.

Hair: The Crazy-Maker

Watching an actress on television today, I decided that I was ready to cut my hair. I started to dial the number for the hair salon.

the babe: what are you doing?

me: i'm calling the hair salon.

the babe: really?! you're going to cut your hair?! now?! (these are not happy exclamations)

Some back story:

About 8 months ago, my hair was chin length. I decided that I wanted to grow it out. The babe expressed her disapproval of this idea (she likes me with short hair), but I really wanted to try out growing it long. I imagined it long and luscious.

It hasn't really turned out that way. Most days I wear it in a ponytail, and I don't like it that much unless I spend like an hour blow drying and straightening or curling it. Which I don't really do. So I've been toying with the idea of cutting it. So this actress put me over the edge.

The conversation continues after I make the appointment:

the babe: cancel the appointment. just wait another month. don't do it now. just wait a month.

me: but i don't like it. i don't want to wait a month.

the babe: but let it grow out. live with it for a month so that you really hate it. so the hatred is seared into your brain.

me: you want it short, though. why don't you want me to cut it? you want me to get this whole hair growing thing out of my system, don't you?

the babe: if you don't, then you're going to want to grow it out again.

me: (leaning over to the babe) i have a secret for you. i'm going to want to do it again. no matter what.

the babe: (putting her hands on my shoulders and turning me to face her) listen to me. listen. it's like you bought a house. and you're in the middle of renovations. and if you sell it now, you'll only make $400,000. and you won't really make a return on your investment. BUT... BUT if you just let the renovations finish, you'll make $500,000! A whole $100,000 more!!! JUST FINISH THE RENOVATIONS!!!

me: why do you care about this so much? has it been so tortured for you to look at me for the last 8 months while my hair has been growing out?

the babe: LONG HAIR HAS BEEN EVERYWHERE! IN THE SHEETS! IN THE BATHROOM!!! EVERYWHERE!!! (labored breathing) i'm thinking long-term. i just don't want it to happen again.

The truth comes out.

Sprinting might be easier

I'm 5/6 of the way through law school, and the time in this last winter break is speeding along much too quickly. I've been finished for almost 4 days now, and I can't seem to get my mind to come down, to really sink into the relaxation. I think it's because I know that in two weeks, I've got to be back in it.

I ran a marathon once. It was grueling. My knee started hurting at mile 6. I was running it with my dad (who had actually done this before), and his calf had been hurting during training and then really started hurting during the race. We hobbled along for over six hours. Once when I wanted to start walking, my dad reminded me that the more we walked the longer it would take and the harder it would be to start running again. I was so incredibly torn - the running was awful, but I knew he was right. If we started to walk, it would just be that more painful to start running again.

I think my brain is quietly going through those machinations right now - if I really settle into this relaxation thing, it is just going to be THAT MUCH HARDER to pick up that reading again in less than two weeks and try to get ready for that first class on Jan. 4. And then of course, if I don't let myself melt into that relaxation, I may just fall over before I get to the finish line.

For Goodness Sake

Remember the other day when I said some things about presidents and atheists. I take it all back. And who do we have to thank for this enlightenment?


Well, the babe and some atheist friends but also our dear friends at fox "news". I would hate hate hate for anyone ever to confuse me with Bill O'Reilly and these "news"casters.


Remember the other day when I said some things about presidents and atheists. I take it all back. And who do we have to thank for this enlightenment?


Well, the babe and some atheist friends but also our dear friends at fox "news". I would hate hate hate for anyone ever to confuse me with Bill O'Reilly and these "news"casters.








The babe and I sat through this ridiculous segment completely mesmerized. That's a lie. The babe was laughing sort of incredulously, and I was screaming - just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! because there seemed no other appropriate thing to do under the cirumstances.



Let's get a closer look at the infamous ad.

Scandalous, I know.



But seriously. When the Christian Right (read Wrong) is creating websites to berate retailers who don't sell nativities or wish you "Merry Christmas", then can they really blame the Humanists for trying to advertise for their cause. Who's attacking who here?



And what exactly is so awful about the idea that a person could be good with a belief in God? Do these people want to do away with anyone who's a good person but doesn't believe in God? Yep, I bet so.



And also - did they not notice that these people are wearing CHRISTMAS HATS?! Hello, they do not hate Christmas. They want to celebrate it as the secular holiday that it has become. They are not attacking you. They are not trying to take away your right to celebrate your own sacred version of that holiday (does this sound familiar?). They're just trying to say that people who don't believe in God can be good people too - even at Christmas.



I, for one, love the ads.

Weekend Yummies

It's finals time again. Sigh.

In my book, there's no better way to waste time than cooking.*

And this time of year, what's better than roasted root vegetables? Nothing.

If you too are in the finals way, you can take a study break and cut vegetables for about 30 minutes, pop them in the oven and enjoy the amazing smells. Then about an hour later, you've got glorious, melt-in-your mouth vegies. Yum.

This one's so simple, it doesn't really need a recipe.

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Cut up your favorite root vegetables, and put them in a baking pan. Douse them in olive oil and spices (we like simple - salt, pepper, rosemary) and toss them around to make sure they're all covered. Then bake for 1 - 1 1/2 hours - until everything is nice and soft.

You can use whatever roots you'd like. In this one, we used the things that were in season at the farmers market - sweet potatoes, turnips, radishes, beets, onions, and threw in some brussels sprouts about 20 minutes in for good measure.

It was delicious, and the leftovers made me and the babe the envy of all of our friends at the lunch table.

*Except, of course, surfing the interwebs in a restless and dissatisfied fashion.

The Past is the Past is the Future

I was trying to finish a paper recently, and I was lamenting to a friend about the stupid decisions that I had made along the way that were making it really difficult for me to finish, i.e. inserting a footnote with no information in it.

And he said, "Yeah, Past M is always doing stupid things like that for Future M to deal with."

I thought it was the most brilliant thing I'd ever heard, and after chatting with folks about it, it is clearly the cross to bear of the law school type.

Past (In)Sanity Gal hates Future (In)Sanity Gal. Clearly. Or else she thinks Future (In)Sanity Gal is some sort of superhero who has the ability to fly over large buildings and write 15-page papers in a single bound. Whichever it is, Future (In)Sanity Gal is constantly being left with Past (In)Sanity Gal's giant mess to clean up, and it's annoying. And it makes Present (In)Sanity Gal feel as though she is LOSING HER MIND. Which is obviously what is happening here because, although this is clearly a brilliant idea, this paragraph is also the rambling madness of a crazy person.

Thanksgiving Threats

I just got this in my email box.

Here's a hint:

Anyone who gets me anything related to the bar exam for Christmas should thereafter sleep with one eye open. Understood?

There's always clapping on the other side of the fence

I saw Jersey Boys last night. It was great fun - I knew even more of the songs than I realized, and it made me want to come home and download everything The Four Seasons onto my ipod and go for a run.*



But I was also on the verge of tears for a ridiculous portion of the show. Will the feeling of wanting to perform never go away? I thought when I started law school that becoming a trial lawyer would be a good outlet for those performance desires, but it's not. I don't like it. And so I just miss it. Most of the time the longing sort of hangs out in the back of my mind, and I don't pay much attention to it. But then I'll go see a show - especially musicals - and I'll think That person on stage is The Luckiest Person Alive. That person has The Best Job Ever. And it hurts - the longing makes my chest hurt.



Maybe I'm just being dramatic - but I guess that's the point. I AM dramatic, and I miss celebrating it.



Several years ago when I was still working as a personal trainer and trying to figure out what to do with my life, I had a conversation with my dear friend C. We were next to each other on the stairmasters at the gym where we worked, and I told her that I didn't want to end up at some point in my life and think I just gave up on my dreams. I wasn't willing to do what it would take to be great. I wanted stability instead. She told me to look around the room - Every one of these people can look back on their lives and say that.



I chose stability. And ease. I gave up. I threw in the towel. I wasn't willing to do what it takes. I blame myself.



But maybe it wouldn't have mattered.



My dad told me a story about the time that his dad told him he would never be good enough to play major league baseball. He said it hurt, but it was the best thing his dad could've done for him. That way he didn't spend a lot of time chasing after something that could never be.



So was it true that it probably never would've happened for me? Or did I just tell myself that so it was easier to give up on it?**



I don't want to spend my life living in the past - wishing that things were some way they aren't. In trut, I know so much of it is just the other side of the fence. When I was in graduate school, I was annoyed that I was always in rehearsal. When I got out of school, I was tired of working all day and rehearsing at night. I didn't want to keep auditioning for commercials and children's plays. It wasn't wildly fulfilling.

But when I see someone up on stage doing what I dreamed of doing, I can't help but think What if I had stuck with it? What if I had kept on through the hard parts? What if I had really given my all?





*Of course, I didn't come home and go for a run. I came home and went to bed. And I probably won't go for a run anytime soon because I don't exercise.

**But let's not pretend that anyone was beating down my door asking me to be a superstar.

Blessings

The babe and I celebrated two years this weekend in beautiful Charlottesville, Virginia and marveled both at the glorious fall landscapes and at how very much we enjoy each other's company.

As the we were falling asleep last night, the babe said, "I never imagined that I'd want to spend this much time with another person."

Thank goodness for the surprises that love brings.