Wednesday, April 15, 2009

This isn't a funny post

My dear friend T asked for an update on the crazy jar.

So, full disclosure:

The jar sat on the counter for about a week with 2 quarters in it.

But the other day I took the quarters out and put the jar back in the closet.

This semester has been a tough one, emotionally. And the last few weeks have been particularly difficult. There's been a lot of crying, a lot of feeling crazy, and a lot of projecting. For those of you who don't do the therapy lingo, I'm talking about having a feeling about myself and then pretending like that feeling is actually coming from someone else. It's a super fun thing to do when you're in a relationship.

The thought process goes something like this:

Ugh. I feel like shit. I'm so tired of feeling like shit. I don't even know why I feel like this. Everybody's stressed out - why can't I just accept it like they do? What is wrong with me? I'm so annoyed with myself. I must be annoying to be around. The babe must be so tired of dealing with me.

See what happened there?

The last sentence. I put feelings into the babe's head. And then I wrote a blog post with the premise that the babe must be so tired of dealing with me.

And it was funny, because sometimes sad things are funny.

But then sometimes they're not anymore. They're just sad.

So no more crazy jar.

I'm not saying I'll stop projecting because that's a work in progress. But I'm not going to support the behavior with a change jar.

My therapist would be so proud.


Laughing said...

I think its ultimately a good thing to have put the jar away - especially because you did so because you recognize a problem that requires a bigger solution than quarters....

I did the exact thing you talk about tonight, and I didn't even realize it until I read your post.

I've been really busy lately, and I haven't had a lot of time when BF is here on the weekends to actually spend with him. And so tonight when I called him and he cut me short because he had a work project breathing down his neck I got all bent out of shape about how he wasn't making me a priority. Ha! I did the same thing to him last night before I had turned in my brief but did he protest? No.

What is the hardest for me is separating myself from my immediate temper and seeing the larger issue. It seems like you're navigating that territory well, if not yet always preemptively. Keep on keepin on :)

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