Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Inquiring minds

Scene: 5:00 pm walking down the side walk on a city street. There are about 10 people within 10 feet of you. You're heading home, walking at a nice clip - nothing extraordinary but not a stroll. You see a woman walking towards you; she's alone. She's about 3 feet away when you notice that her fly is unzipped. Within 15 seconds she's going to have passed you. What do you do?

Does it change if it's a man?

6 comments:

WaltzInExile said...

*I* am that woman. Please tell me.
And that man is probably my husband. Please tell him, also.
(We're sleep-deprived. I blame the kids.)

Virgin In The Volcano said...

Let it go. Unless you want her to think you're hitting on her. Or does that only happen to me?

Pip said...

I think, if the opportunity presents itself, you should tell her.

For instance, I saw a woman getting off the train the other day with her skirt tucked into her pantyhose. This situation evoked a conversation between me and my friend. I decided that I would rather have a stranger tell me about it at the train station than show up at work that way and have someone in my office inform me that I was exposing my backside to the world. So, when we got on the escalator behind her, my friend tapped her on the shoulder, told her what was up, and we covered her while she adjusted herself.

I feel like you gotta say something. You'd much rather hear about it from a stranger that you're probably never going to see again than show up somewhere in that condition, right? If it's a man, however, I let it go. He'll think I'm hitting on him and he's much less likely to be embarrassed when he arrives at his destination.

T said...

if i'm completely honest, i'd have to admit that it would depend on my mood. in a normal mood, i would likely tell the woman. some of my grumpy law school moods are very self-involved though. in one of those, i'd tell myself that it's no big deal; she'll notice all on her own. although, i'd probably feel bad later. (like, 15 seconds after i've passed her.)

i may or may not tell a guy. i think that would depend both on my mood and what he looks like. if he looks friendly, i might tell him. if he looks scary, i'd keep walking.

(In)Sanity Gal said...

Waltz - If it were you, I'd tell you. Promise. Not that I'd know, of course. But maybe something would just clue me in.

Virg - I think you have special hitting on people skills that the rest of us just haven't acquired yet.

Pip - That was super nice of you. I think I'd definitely tell someone if their skirt was tucked into their pantyhose - I mean, that's serious stuff.

T - I think you're right on with the mood thing.

My answer: Well, yesterday I walked by a girl whose fly was unzipped. I let her go. About 3 seconds after she had passed, I thought about turning around and running after her, but then that would be weird, and I might run into Virgin's problem. To my credit, I was walking with the babe and we were talking and were both in one of those really cranky law school moods. But afterwards I did feel bad. Obviously you'd want to know if it were you - why didn't I just say something?

If it were a guy - not at all. The last thing I need is some guy thinking I'm staring at his crotch. And that's what a guy would think (Except, of course, Waltz's husband).

the babe said...

Here's another one: you're a moot court judge and one of your competitors comes in with her shirt and suit collar all flipped up and messed up. Do you tell her pre-argument? That might make her nervous and self-conscious, even though now she thinks she looks okay. Do you not tell her at all? Well that way she's more relaxed because she's oblivious, but you're staring at her collar while you're judging her.

Dilemmas.

As for yesterday's incident, I obviously didn't even notice. I grew up thinking it was my job to tell my Dad that his fly was unzipped, because it pretty much always was. So for me, male or female, it comes down to how they look, how awkward it would be after (am I waiting on the platform with them for the next ten minutes? or will we never see each other again?) and of course my mood.

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