Thursday, April 23, 2009

Now hear this, Brain

Here's a list of some things that should be taking up the extremely limited, valuable space in my extremely overstressed brain:

1. What type of speech falls into the protections of the 1st amendment?
2. What qualifies as a valid search incident to arrest?
3. If someone says, "Maybe I should talk to a lawyer?" does the officer have to stop questioning them?
4. What are the drawbacks to roadblock statutes?
5. If a region meets its ambient air quality standards for lead, can a permitting body still be sued for contributing to lead pollution?
6. How in sweet jesus's name (yes, i just did) am I going to take a closed book crim pro exam?


The following is a list of concerns that are actually taking up space in my overstressed brain:

1. These pants seem tighter than they did last time I wore them.
2. Will the babe and I have a bris for our son? The one who isn't born or conceived yet? And no, the babe and I have not recently gotten engaged or decided to start a family.
3. Exes. Should they be friends? My exes? The babe's exes? How do I feel about this?
4. I've been eating a lot of junk food. A lot a lot. [See #1]
5. Should women get labiaplasty? Special thanks to Jessica Gottlieb for that one.
6. I don't really have any friends from high school. The only real contenders are my best friend from that time, and we haven't really gotten over the whole my being gay thing, and my ex-boyfriend. [See #3]
7. Do I like this haircut?
8. Some of the pretty and popular girls from high school that I've been facebook stalking are now really beautiful women with handsome husbands and cute babies. That annoys me.
9. My school just fell in the rankings. I care. Blast.
10. I should do more yoga.
11. I'm not really up enough on current events. I know nothing. I should read more news.
13. How in sweet jesus's name am I going to take a closed book crim pro exam?


I'm thinking lobotomy?

6 comments:

T said...

speaking of a bris, how do you feel about circumcision? i'm not sure how i feel (especially in regards to my own nonexistent son) and i think this would have been a good follow up to the labiaplasty conversation. (not that they're at all the same... except for the cutting away skin in very private places part.)

oh, wait? this is part of the thoughts we're NOT supposed to be having! shoot. oops.

Anonymous said...

this is funny.
I always felt like on exams, if I could just share all of the things I DO know (like sunny days make people happier or zucchini bread tastes better with half applesauce/oil mixture) rather than answer the pesky little question that the professor would see that my intelligence can not be boxed in. That makes no sense I know, but still.
beth

ps. high school friends are NEVER as great as college friends.

Virgin In The Volcano said...

Nope, #3 officer doesn't have to stop questioning your suspect. As far as the rest of your concerns go, however, I am only slightly more than useless. Oh, except the bris, which I'd say yes to absolutely. The Brother and I agree that 1) a circumcised pene is prettier, and 2) you shouldn't deprive your son of another chance to get gifts. (See, we Jews are always thinking ahead to the college fund.)

Law Ingenue said...

Too funny! I couldn't remember whether or not I was having lunch with my sweetie on Wednesday because my brain was too full. Now that finals are over, my brain has emptied out again.

(In)Sanity Gal said...

T - post finals we should discuss circumcision. ooh, doesn't that make you excited?!

Beth - I think that the sunny days info is going to fit beautifully on my environmental law exam. Thanks! ;)

Virg - I guess it makes sense that if you're going to cut it up, he should get some presents at least.

Ingenue - oh, how I envy you being finished.

Taco John said...

Is having a discussion about a bris the ultimate pinnacle of talking about a relationship's future? We're skipping right past marriage, jobs, even having the kid in the first place and jumping right into foreskin.

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