Thursday, September 3, 2009

Remember me?

In college I had a pretty close friendship with another girl - R. We hung out a lot, talked about feelings - we were close. After graduation, we kept up with each other for a while. But then a couple of weeks went by, and I didn't have a chance to call. I thought about calling once while I was walking home, but it didn't seem like enough time to cover all of the things that had happened since we'd last talked. And then I got busy and another couple weeks went by. And then a month went by. And I had it on my to-do list for months - Call R. And then it had been a year, and I had missed her birthday and she had missed mine and I'd met someone and hadn't told her yet about it. And it seemed overwhelming to call - how would we cover everything? Would we have anything to talk about anymore? And I just didn't ever call. And it's been 5 years now. I don't really know anything about her anymore. This good friend I had. Now it feels weird to try to get in touch with her.

You might have a similar story. Or you might be better at keeping up with people.

But here's the thing - that's happening right now with you guys. I've had Blog on my to-do list for weeks now. I think of blog posts while I'm walking, running, taking a shower. But so much has happened, there's so much I want to tell you, and I get overwhelmed. I don't know where to start. I've got a thousand posts about traveling, tons about school starting, and then just general random stuff.

And...I haven't been reading about you guys either. I've just been absent. I've been letting this relationship drift away.

Since things are easier sometimes when you write them down, I'm going to practice building it back up. I'm apologizing here for drifting away. And I'm telling you that I'm going to come back. And maybe I won't be able to tell you everything, but I'll start off from here.

And maybe I'll get better about this. Maybe I'll finally call R.


Jasmine said...

Katie, Starting when I was about six I decided that I wanted to write in my journal every day...I would keep track of what I had done every day. I actually managed to do that for a couple of years (I would write for two days sometimes, and the entries often consisted of "sledding, played games", but I did it), and then, I missed too many days and couldn't remember what I had done. I had a TOTAL meltdown and sobbed with my mom. Eventually, she helped me to see that I could write about just the emotional things, and not everything that happened, or about one little story rather than trying to keep a record. My childhood best friend and I sometimes will go months without talking, but we have a "no catching up" policy, we just talk about what's real for us right now, and details be damned. I wish you luck with staying in touch with people, but more than that, I wish for you to be gentle and loving with yourself when you don't. Love you,

(In)Sanity Gal said...

Jasmine - Thank you so much for your really sweet comment. I think that sometimes the "no catching up" policy is a godsend and should be implemented more often. In a lot of ways it goes along with the more solo idea of just meeting yourself where you are.

Good to see you here. :)

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