Sweet Gracie

You've met Gracie before.

When Java died recently, I introduced you.

And somehow - it seems both unreasonable and unreal - I am here again. Writing about the loss of a dear, sweet animal who should not be gone. Who, in truth, I can't really accept is gone.

Maybe I won't until I go home again.

And yet, she is clearly gone because when I talk to my mom, there are tears and sadness in her voice, and she talks about how quiet the house is.

It's exceedingly unfair that she should have dealt with this twice in one month, and both so unexpectedly. And that my sister has lost both of her animals while she's out of the country.

Gracie had cancer. None of us knew. The vet said that's normal for golden retrievers. They're people pleasers of the highest degree and don't want to cause any trouble. They hide their symptoms until they simply can't anymore. And then it's too late. And it was.

When they found it, the cancer was in her heart and her lungs, and they said she wouldn't make it the rest of the day.

There are people who say that pet owners pretend that their pets are more human than they are. But there's no doubt in my mind that Gracie was trying to save us from the pain until she couldn't anymore.

This will hurt for a long time to come.