Friday, June 12, 2009

And then you have to finally decide

Read a lot, finish the quilt that I started 5 years ago, do lots of yoga, start running again regularly, work out in the gym, cook scrumptious meals, blog more, keep in touch with friends better, practice the piano, maybe even do some writing.

These are all things that I thought were going to happen this summer - this time of respite from law school. So far, I was really off.

The relaxed 9-5:30 that I was working last summer looks more like 9-7:00 this summer, which is not bad. And I've even gotten off early a few times. It's not the work. It's the socializing.

I am socializing like crazy. I'm working at a firm this summer, but I've got a fellowship through them, which basically means that I'm working one half of the summer for a public defender office and one half of the summer at the firm. It also means that I have to work a little harder to get face time at the firm. So, I'm trying to balance the public defender work time with firm socializing time. I'm trying to make it back for lunches. I'm going to happy hours, joined the softball team, going to random networking things. I'm exhausted every night.

There's been no yoga, no running, no crafting, no writing. Blogging has been incredibly limited, as have reading, cooking, practicing the piano, and keeping up with friends.

To some extent it's about choices. I choose to sit on the couch for an hour or so in the evenings when I can with the babe, share work stories, and watch an episode of something good. I guess that's time that I could spend doing other things. I've never been good at picking and choosing. I remember a high school conversation with my dad where I told him that I wanted to be first chair of the flutes in band. He said I certainly could be if I made that my priority. But I also wanted to be on the academic bowl and in the beta club. And I wanted to make all As. And I wanted to hang out with my boyfriend and be in the youth choir at church.* And I wanted to keep taking piano lessons.

I wonder if I'll ever figure this part of life out. If I'll ever learn to be content with the things that are in my everyday life and not focused on the things that aren't.

*Yes, I was a nerdy goody twoshoes.


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