It is almost over.
We are so close, and I think that I should be able to say to myself - Focus. You're almost there. Hang in for just these last few days.
But the end is beaming so brightly at me that all I can think about are the books I'm going to read, the projects I'm going to do, the projects I'm going to start and not finish, the late mornings in bed, the brunches, the cooking, the laughing, the all the other things that aren't right here right now.
My inner buddhist is screaming in agony.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
It is almost over.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Today as I was packing up from my new study spot (the glorious outdoor terrace in our apartment building), I noticed that there was something on the power cord for my computer. I bent down and saw... a slug.
He was just hanging out there on the cord, but as I gently moved it, he shrank up a bit as slugs do. And then he made his way onto the patio. And I wrapped up the cord and put it into my bag and headed back upstairs. And left the slug to do his sluggish things.
I'm not sure why, but it made my day a little bit.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Here's a list of some things that should be taking up the extremely limited, valuable space in my extremely overstressed brain:
1. What type of speech falls into the protections of the 1st amendment?
2. What qualifies as a valid search incident to arrest?
3. If someone says, "Maybe I should talk to a lawyer?" does the officer have to stop questioning them?
4. What are the drawbacks to roadblock statutes?
5. If a region meets its ambient air quality standards for lead, can a permitting body still be sued for contributing to lead pollution?
6. How in sweet jesus's name (yes, i just did) am I going to take a closed book crim pro exam?
The following is a list of concerns that are actually taking up space in my overstressed brain:
1. These pants seem tighter than they did last time I wore them.
2. Will the babe and I have a bris for our son? The one who isn't born or conceived yet? And no, the babe and I have not recently gotten engaged or decided to start a family.
3. Exes. Should they be friends? My exes? The babe's exes? How do I feel about this?
4. I've been eating a lot of junk food. A lot a lot. [See #1]
5. Should women get labiaplasty? Special thanks to Jessica Gottlieb for that one.
6. I don't really have any friends from high school. The only real contenders are my best friend from that time, and we haven't really gotten over the whole my being gay thing, and my ex-boyfriend. [See #3]
7. Do I like this haircut?
8. Some of the pretty and popular girls from high school that I've been facebook stalking are now really beautiful women with handsome husbands and cute babies. That annoys me.
9. My school just fell in the rankings. I care. Blast.
10. I should do more yoga.
11. I'm not really up enough on current events. I know nothing. I should read more news.
13. How in sweet jesus's name am I going to take a closed book crim pro exam?
I'm thinking lobotomy?
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
The law school ethos
"I guess I'll do it. It'll look good on my resume for leadership and all that crap."
Monday, April 20, 2009
Things I would really like to be doing right now instead of outlining criminal procedure:
In no particular order.
1. Eating a cheeseburger.
3. Having sex.
4. Watching really bad television.
In less than two weeks I'm going to slather myself with beef and cheese (and maybe mustard) and lay on the couch and try to seduce the babe (which will be difficult since she's lactose intolerant and, even if she weren't, doesn't combine meat and dairy, and also, probably won't be attracted to me while I'm covered in meat because she'll be focused on the fact that I am dripping grease all over the carpet and the couch) while an episode of Pimp my Ride plays in the background (because why be judicious with your tv watching when you have enough time to watch whatever the hell happens to be on). And then sleep.
I promise that I haven't completely lost my mind.
Or, in the alternative, I have.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Ran the race, biotches!
No offense. I'm in a profane mood. I'm in the journal house; the printer is taking forever; I'm substantiating during reading days.
Anyway, that's not the point.
T and I ran the 8K race yesterday, coming in 63rd and 64th (we actually were right next to each other, but I guess it takes them a second to punch in the numbers) out of 81 people, which I think is Not Bad At All. We ran it in 53 minutes and 46 seconds, which (in case you're fuzzy on your math), is less than 11 minute miles. And there were Hills. Big, long ones.
Some of you out there might think that's not all that special, but we think it's Kind Of Great.
I'm also in a Capitalizing mood.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
My dear friend T asked for an update on the crazy jar.
So, full disclosure:
The jar sat on the counter for about a week with 2 quarters in it.
But the other day I took the quarters out and put the jar back in the closet.
This semester has been a tough one, emotionally. And the last few weeks have been particularly difficult. There's been a lot of crying, a lot of feeling crazy, and a lot of projecting. For those of you who don't do the therapy lingo, I'm talking about having a feeling about myself and then pretending like that feeling is actually coming from someone else. It's a super fun thing to do when you're in a relationship.
The thought process goes something like this:
Ugh. I feel like shit. I'm so tired of feeling like shit. I don't even know why I feel like this. Everybody's stressed out - why can't I just accept it like they do? What is wrong with me? I'm so annoyed with myself. I must be annoying to be around. The babe must be so tired of dealing with me.
See what happened there?
The last sentence. I put feelings into the babe's head. And then I wrote a blog post with the premise that the babe must be so tired of dealing with me.
And it was funny, because sometimes sad things are funny.
But then sometimes they're not anymore. They're just sad.
So no more crazy jar.
I'm not saying I'll stop projecting because that's a work in progress. But I'm not going to support the behavior with a change jar.
My therapist would be so proud.
I was eleven and convinced that I had been adopted - in the way that you're convinced of things when you're eleven. Meaning that I was convinced of it every time my mom made me pick up the dishes or set the table or leave my sister alone.
That was the kicker.
I was always being getting in trouble for bothering my sister. Apparently my being older required that I be filled with self-discipline and good judgment. When my 6 year old sister hit me or threw things at me or poked me or licked me or bit me, I should calmly say to her, "I don't like it when you do that." And then walk away.
Looking at it now, it seems like a sort of good skill.* But at 11? Think again.
Any woman who would expect me to hold my tongue in the face of a tyrannical six year old clearly was not my real mother.**
Hence, I found myself locked in the bathroom one afternoon screaming through the door at my mother, "If YOU WERE MY REAL MOTHER, YOU WOULDN'T TREAT ME THIS WAY!"
And my mother, being the quick thinker that she is, responded, "Well, maybe if you were my real daughter, you wouldn't treat me this way."
What? What did she just say?
Maybe a risky move, but it worked.
She's not my mother?! HA! We look exactly alike! Everyone knows she's my mother! My sister and I look exactly like! We all look exactly the same! She's so ridiculous. Good grief. (Because I didn't use profanity when I was 11. I was Holy.)
So after that I only complained that things were Unfair, which was not nearly as satisfying as complaining that I was adopted.
Which leads me to wonder - what will I blame for the bad days when law school is over?
*Although I'm still not entirely sold on it.
**I love you, little sister. :)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Go watch this.
Have kleenex ready. Don't worry - they're good tears.
Monday, April 13, 2009
"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life." - Anne Morriss
Eureka! That's it!
My head is always the barrier to my life!
You know things are bad when your epiphany moment is prompted by the quote on your Starbucks cup.
I'm officially a coffee addict.
I discovered this today as I was drinking cold coffee. Not iced coffee. Hot coffee that has gotten cold.
I'm pretty sure only coffee addicts do this. People who aren't coffee addicts stop drinking their coffee when it gets cold because it's not as good anymore.
But I can't bring myself to give up a drop.
And I was planning to quit after finals.
This could be a problem.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The choice has been made.
Portuguese Water Dog it is.
I can't believe he has his own website.
Boy, he's pretty damn cute.
Posted by (In)Sanity Gal at Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I'm thinking lately that I might know more about life and the world and, in truth, most things if I quit law school and just read blogs and 0n-line articles all day every day. Can I get a degree in that?
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Scene: 5:00 pm walking down the side walk on a city street. There are about 10 people within 10 feet of you. You're heading home, walking at a nice clip - nothing extraordinary but not a stroll. You see a woman walking towards you; she's alone. She's about 3 feet away when you notice that her fly is unzipped. Within 15 seconds she's going to have passed you. What do you do?
Does it change if it's a man?
House overrode the veto 100 to 49.
Take that Douglas.
From the Burlington Free Press:
The Vermont Senate this morning has voted to override Gov. Jim Douglas' veto of the same-sex marriage legislation.
The vote passed, 23-5.
The House vote, possibly later this morning, will be more dramatic. Smith and other House Democratic leaders are urging Democrats who voted against the bill to support the majority and vote for the override.If all 150 members are present, 100 votes are needed for an override. Counting all members who voted for the bill in two votes last week, plus the speaker, who did not cast a vote but may on the override, there are 97 who support the bill. Two Democrats who voted against the bill have said they would change course and support the override.
Come on guys. Give us another state to cheer for.
Governor Douglas on his veto of the same-sex marriage bill in Vermont:
“This legislation does not address the inequalities espoused by proponents,” Douglas said in his veto message. “Regardless of whether the term marriage is applied, federal benefits will still be denied to same-sex couples in Vermont.”
What brilliant reasoning! I hadn't thought of that. Of course it makes sense that if same-sex couples don't get federal rights, it wouldn't matter if they got state rights. I mean, seriously, states don't matter. It's not like they're the ones in charge of marrying you or something.
Monday, April 6, 2009
During college a couple of the girls on my floor started a swear jar. Have you ever heard of this? Where every time you use profanity, you have to put a quarter in the jar? Right.
I avoided their apartment like the plague - I would've been broke in about 20 minutes. But I think they bought themselves dinner at Chick-fil-A or something at the end of the month. Ah, Chick-fil-A....
Anyway, I think they were trying to encourage themselves to quit cursing. Which I don't really see the point of. But I guess some people think it's important to have clean mouths. Whatever. That's not my point.
My point is...I'm capitalizing on the idea. Until finals are over (that's a little less than a month), I'm going to start a crazy jar. Every time I get bitchy or irrational or obnoxious or hysterical with the babe, I put a quarter in a jar. And at the end of finals, she can buy herself something nice.
Like a massage.
Or maybe a car.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
I really do.
I'm blaming my note. And my trade paper. And the three finals that come after that.
You can blame them too if you'd like.
In fact, I think that would be great.
And I wouldn't tell anyone if you came upon them really sneaky like from behind and hit them over the head with a frying pan. Or a bat. Or a shovel. Or a really big brick.
Although that would be difficult to hold since it doesn't have a handle. So maybe just the frying pan or the bat or the shovel.
I'd totally help you destroy the evidence too.
Friday, April 3, 2009
So, needless to say I'm absolutely delighted by the Iowa Supreme Court's ruling - you can get the full opinion here.
But so far my favorite read of the day is this comment from a reader of Politico.
GO LOWA!!!!! i m european and never heard of Lowa before but i m so happy for all you. i cant believe that today in USA gay people cant marry. it is so incredible that many USA countries don't even offer partership for gay. what kind of democracy is that? GO LOWA show them the way. big kiss from Holland!!!!
Yes, Lowa. You've won our hearts.